Are people comfortable with lip reading?
Lip-reading is an essential part of communication for the hard of hearing. But do people mind having their lips read and do you mind staring at someone’s mouth when they are talking?
I used to lip-read a lot and, according to a hearing specialist I saw many years ago, I’m very good at it. But I don’t look directly at people’s mouths any more, these days I tend to look people straight in the eye. Why? Because a few years ago I began to realise that many people get really uncomfortable with me watching their mouth when they are talking to me. Many times people have instinctively brought a hand up to their mouth or they start biting their lip or doing something else other than just talking.
It would be easier for me to read lips more often but I don’t want to make people unconformable when we are talking. I can certainly understand why they would feel uncomfortable and I don’t blame them for expecting me to be seeing them eye to eye. The easy answer is: “Just tell them you are hard of hearing” but it’s not always easy to just blurt that out.
There’s one guy I knew who completely covered his mouth when he’s talking and he made me realise that even though I may not look directly at people’s mouths much any more I still rely on the mouth movement in my peripheral vision. I could rarely understand a word that guy said!
Do you lip-read and are you happy to read everyone’s lips, even strangers? And have you ever noticed someone be unhappy with you doing it?
No Thank you! I am avoid to read lip because it caused sore my eyes.
Hi Rod/Leslie,
I hate to read lipread with their yellow teeth. I agree it is diffiulct to read their small lipread. Impossible to read their lip are so differents!
Deaf PIxie – Former Oregon.
I totally rely on lirpeading. If someone covers their mouths, I tell them to uncover it so I can ‘hear’ them.
If people don’t like me looking at their mouths – tough, they have to get used to it as it’s the only way i can ‘hear’.
Usually if one tells them you’re deaf, they understand though.
Cheers
Robyn
Lip-reading is an essential skill for most deaf or hard of hearing. There may be claims ‘Deaf’ don’t use or need it, this is a myth, because they all do, if they had to rely on sign language then they would miss even more than they do on the street. It is a difficult skill to obtain, and as most attain deafness at later ages, then that compounds the difficulty. I think a lip-reading course should be mandatory for those diagnosed as needing a hearing aid, you have to start as as soon as you are able, too many leave it until they have gone deaf and it is too late then. Everyone person with a loss regardless of degree acquires some lip-skills by default, since the brain starts looking for alternatives to things it misses, so, not a deaf choice at all ! The important thing to remember is that like any skill practice, practice, and practice, or you will still keep missing large chunks of things. Yes it is stressful, but the alternative even more so I think. You can opt out and stop bothering and then miss EVERYTHING. The thing about hearing aids is you can over rely on them, and not worry until it fails or your hearing does, then it is too late too.
I think most will be totally fine if you explain what you are doing. Believe it or not, if you are good at lip reading, people will not realize you are deaf/hh. It took me a long time to realize the guy at the gym was deaf. I am a “mumbler”, so his lipreading allowed him to understand me as well or better than average.
Most deaf are liars by default sadly ! they will NOT tell people what they cannot hear and adopt a nodding pose they understand when they don’t. Deaf sign users are the same exzcept they have established a ‘chinese whisper’ system, whereby they nominate a deaf person who follows better thean they do, and then ask him or her afterwards, then pass that info down the line ! There is then no blame to be attached to hearing who will assume you do understand, because you have nodded asent. There is pride too, a lot will not admit they cannot follow, in case people think they are stupid, (Which they WILL anyway if you start showing you haven’t understood when agreeing you have !), hearing aren’t mind-readers. If you cannot follow, SAY SO ! what’s to be gained otherwise ?
I’ve never come across anyone that does not like me lip reading them unless they have something to hide, like in a workplace I once used to work at. She found it uncomfortable because she used to bitch, and she tried it on with me. Which my response was I’m deaf not stupid.
As for lipreading itself, its a vital skill, which I rely on. But as for staring at people’s lips alone, you have to take in the whole of the face at the same time, so you are aware of their emotions etc.. as well as lip patterns. The way to do this is to focus on the nose which you then take in the whole of the face at the same time, which I read in a book once. This I discovered I was already doing myself. And no, no one will think you are staring at their nose either, but some people have commented to me, even before knowing I’m deaf that I’m lipreading cos of me concentrating on them more. It starts up a conversation then sometimes.
I have been undecided about taking a lip reading course. Thanks to your comments I am going to go ahead. Thanks